Dear Public:
perhaps you have already heard of the events of my recent presentation at Boston's Museum of Science. If you have not, then I regret to inform you that the Shabowa bird does not exist, and never has existed. I can only offer you my most sincere apologies for this charade.
I suppose I underestimated my audience members, who were quick to point out the inconsistencies in the Shabowa bird's design. I was soon inundated with questions I simply couldn't counter with legitimate answers. How can a bird with a goose bill eat a rodent? How can a mostly featherless bird survive the harsh temperatures of the Gobi Desert? How can a bird with talons run at such heightened speeds?
I am sorry that I lied. I am ashamed and embarrassed to have sullied the sanctity of my profession and my bright future therein. Cryptozoology is surrounded by enough skeptical onlookers, and the last thing I want to do is add numbers to that doubting crowd. Although you may have lost faith in me, please do not lose faith in this groundbreaking field of research. I only proceeded this way in an attempt to garner funding so that I could undertake much more organized and sophisticated research.
I explained this at my presentation and was lucky enough to be forgiven. My audience suggested that I remain committed, improve my research skills, and try again. Although I am positive that I still have much to accomplish and my name will still one day be writ across history books, I feel they are right and it is indeed time to turn a new leaf. I will do so in private. It is in my best interest to relinquish from public view for a time while this incident blows over.
Thank you.
